It has been a great week, despite having been arrested for suspended registration and making the Malone Telegram. My eating habits have been great, could use some improvement but great none the less. No weigh in this week but I am excited about weighing in next week.
I am starting to notice a difference in the way my clothing is fitting and I am getting some curves back instead of my blobby existence. If you have never had weight issues of been extremely obese than you don't know what it is like to hear your voice, have an image of what you thought you looked like only to pass a mirror or see a picture and think, "What the hell happened?" Sometimes I feel like I have lost myself underneath the layers of fat and clothing. Now for the first time in years, I am looking in the mirror and smiling because I am getting my face back, my body back. It feels amazing!
I am still sucking at food journal-ing. 1) I am obviously having reservations about what I eat and having difficulty with that whole "accountability" part of this entire process. 2) I just can't manage for find the time when I have internet service to squeeze in the things I have managed to record. I need to hire a dietary assistant to writes down everything I ingest in a day and enters it into my log. Wonder if Oprah ever thought of that ;-)
Before I say good-bye this week, I wanted to say thank you to all the followers, supporters, my friends and family. I need and appreciate all of the support. Much love until next week.
-Rhi Rhi
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
What's a girl to do?
So, I felt a little defeated when I went to the doctor's office this week and I gained 0.3 pounds this month. Now it might not seem like a huge deal to most, but I was looking forward to losing like 10 pounds, so to have a little gain is disappointing to say the least.
So, I have been praying for some acceptance and I have realized that I have no choice. I have been slacking at the whole food journal too. Part of the reason is that I don't have internet access at home but the other part is I am having difficulty finding a moment to do this. I know, I know, I just need to make the time. How do you, my readers, handle time management? Any pointers will be greatly appreciated.
Now onto the positive. I am fitting into some clothes, like jeans, and appreciating the expansion of my wardrobe. I am feeling healthier and definitely happier! My skin is looking better, I could use a hair cut!!
Another wake up call today. Went to get my bone density test today and I am 40 pounds over their weight limit. Embarrassing and frustrating. But, it looks like I have a new goal. I am 15 pounds from my next goal and then we will work on the remaining 25.
I appreciate all of the feedback and support. Wish me luck on a better week.
So, I have been praying for some acceptance and I have realized that I have no choice. I have been slacking at the whole food journal too. Part of the reason is that I don't have internet access at home but the other part is I am having difficulty finding a moment to do this. I know, I know, I just need to make the time. How do you, my readers, handle time management? Any pointers will be greatly appreciated.
Now onto the positive. I am fitting into some clothes, like jeans, and appreciating the expansion of my wardrobe. I am feeling healthier and definitely happier! My skin is looking better, I could use a hair cut!!
Another wake up call today. Went to get my bone density test today and I am 40 pounds over their weight limit. Embarrassing and frustrating. But, it looks like I have a new goal. I am 15 pounds from my next goal and then we will work on the remaining 25.
I appreciate all of the feedback and support. Wish me luck on a better week.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
A trying week!
All and all things have been pretty good this week. I can say with absolute certainty that I am a stress eater!
The van has been out of commission since Monday and I have been at home until today. I have noticed that I eat when my anxiety is high because I feel like I am high energy but this is so not the case. High energy and high anxiety, two completely different things. And what happens when I cave? I am full of food, negetive thoughts and left with guilt and shame. So counter productive but being honest and letting others knows about my struggles makes me accountable and I look back at these posts and my food journal and I have hope. I am able to dust myself off and pick up where I left off.
I have also come to realize that I need my routine to keep me on this weight loss path. While home and not working, I found myself going to the fridge several times a day and not making a meal but a sanwhich here a glass of milk there and those calories were adding up quick!
2 out of the 4 days I have been good. I ate breakfast each morning, it's about lunch time that I start getting really hungry. Nothing seems fulfilling. I do my high protein in the morning, I check my blood sugar and it is normal. I do not get this way at work. Any suggestions??
The van has been out of commission since Monday and I have been at home until today. I have noticed that I eat when my anxiety is high because I feel like I am high energy but this is so not the case. High energy and high anxiety, two completely different things. And what happens when I cave? I am full of food, negetive thoughts and left with guilt and shame. So counter productive but being honest and letting others knows about my struggles makes me accountable and I look back at these posts and my food journal and I have hope. I am able to dust myself off and pick up where I left off.
I have also come to realize that I need my routine to keep me on this weight loss path. While home and not working, I found myself going to the fridge several times a day and not making a meal but a sanwhich here a glass of milk there and those calories were adding up quick!
2 out of the 4 days I have been good. I ate breakfast each morning, it's about lunch time that I start getting really hungry. Nothing seems fulfilling. I do my high protein in the morning, I check my blood sugar and it is normal. I do not get this way at work. Any suggestions??
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Stress Eater
So, I have come to realize that I am a stress eater. I never really thought about it or even understood it until I started keeping a food journal and looking at patterns and my behavior. I had a very stressful night and I craved a high carb breakfast. I gave into that temptation this morning and I do feel guilty about it but I am hoping that by blogging, being honest, and being accountable that this will curve my behaviors and I can begin living a health lifestyle and have a healthy relationship with food.
I started this weight loss journey when I was 8 years old. That is when I can remember being sent away to my aunts for the summer and being on a calories restricted diet. Thinking back, I really don't know what happened that got my parents thinking I needed to diet at 8 but I do know I was overweight. I remember feeling deprived of food. Feeling hungry and not being able to eat the things I wanted. I know that those feelings eventually led to food hoarding at a tween and full blown compulsive eater by the time I was 15.
I never gave much thought into what I was putting in my mouth and just blamed my weight gains on lack of exercise and acceptance that I was still beautiful inside and out.
After my car accident, when I came home and mobility was limited, my socialization was impaired and my spirits were low, I began to recognize a pattern of binge eating and eating out of boredom. I would binge eat for 2 or 3 days and not eat anything for 2 or 3 days and I thought that would balance things out. Boy was I wrong!
I remember lying about my weight for the first time when I was in 6th grade and had a sports physical. My friends all boasted their 99 pound bodies and I was a whopping 230 pounds. I kept that lie going and the years went on and I got bigger and bigger. Around 2004, shortly after my accident I did have a dramatic weight loss, and I was down to that 230 pound figure and felt like a kid again, literally. The only troubling thing was, I lost the weight being sick and I was not healthy. My doctor began to encourage me to eat and eat lots and after 8 years I never stopped.
In July, I had ballooned up to 408 pounds. Wow! Did I just type that? I was so ashamed. I went to a medical rehab and learned I had diabetes. And that is why I am sitting here today starting a blog, from a girl in a wheelchair, with people who will enable her to death, I want to make changes in my life. I wan to be accountable. I need support, as much as I can get and I am going to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Please join me on this journey. As of July 16, 2012, I have lost 36 pounds, that is 4 pounds a month. It came off fast and I know due to my dieting history, I will plateau and want to give up. Please don't let me. I do not have a goal in mind, Just a healthy weight that maybe someday I can succesfully wear a prosthetic leg. Wish me luck! Here I go.
You can send bits of encouragement and track my diet at myfitnesspal.com username rmulverhill
I started this weight loss journey when I was 8 years old. That is when I can remember being sent away to my aunts for the summer and being on a calories restricted diet. Thinking back, I really don't know what happened that got my parents thinking I needed to diet at 8 but I do know I was overweight. I remember feeling deprived of food. Feeling hungry and not being able to eat the things I wanted. I know that those feelings eventually led to food hoarding at a tween and full blown compulsive eater by the time I was 15.
I never gave much thought into what I was putting in my mouth and just blamed my weight gains on lack of exercise and acceptance that I was still beautiful inside and out.
After my car accident, when I came home and mobility was limited, my socialization was impaired and my spirits were low, I began to recognize a pattern of binge eating and eating out of boredom. I would binge eat for 2 or 3 days and not eat anything for 2 or 3 days and I thought that would balance things out. Boy was I wrong!
I remember lying about my weight for the first time when I was in 6th grade and had a sports physical. My friends all boasted their 99 pound bodies and I was a whopping 230 pounds. I kept that lie going and the years went on and I got bigger and bigger. Around 2004, shortly after my accident I did have a dramatic weight loss, and I was down to that 230 pound figure and felt like a kid again, literally. The only troubling thing was, I lost the weight being sick and I was not healthy. My doctor began to encourage me to eat and eat lots and after 8 years I never stopped.
In July, I had ballooned up to 408 pounds. Wow! Did I just type that? I was so ashamed. I went to a medical rehab and learned I had diabetes. And that is why I am sitting here today starting a blog, from a girl in a wheelchair, with people who will enable her to death, I want to make changes in my life. I wan to be accountable. I need support, as much as I can get and I am going to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Please join me on this journey. As of July 16, 2012, I have lost 36 pounds, that is 4 pounds a month. It came off fast and I know due to my dieting history, I will plateau and want to give up. Please don't let me. I do not have a goal in mind, Just a healthy weight that maybe someday I can succesfully wear a prosthetic leg. Wish me luck! Here I go.
You can send bits of encouragement and track my diet at myfitnesspal.com username rmulverhill
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