So, I felt a little defeated when I went to the doctor's office this week and I gained 0.3 pounds this month. Now it might not seem like a huge deal to most, but I was looking forward to losing like 10 pounds, so to have a little gain is disappointing to say the least.
So, I have been praying for some acceptance and I have realized that I have no choice. I have been slacking at the whole food journal too. Part of the reason is that I don't have internet access at home but the other part is I am having difficulty finding a moment to do this. I know, I know, I just need to make the time. How do you, my readers, handle time management? Any pointers will be greatly appreciated.
Now onto the positive. I am fitting into some clothes, like jeans, and appreciating the expansion of my wardrobe. I am feeling healthier and definitely happier! My skin is looking better, I could use a hair cut!!
Another wake up call today. Went to get my bone density test today and I am 40 pounds over their weight limit. Embarrassing and frustrating. But, it looks like I have a new goal. I am 15 pounds from my next goal and then we will work on the remaining 25.
I appreciate all of the feedback and support. Wish me luck on a better week.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
A trying week!
All and all things have been pretty good this week. I can say with absolute certainty that I am a stress eater!
The van has been out of commission since Monday and I have been at home until today. I have noticed that I eat when my anxiety is high because I feel like I am high energy but this is so not the case. High energy and high anxiety, two completely different things. And what happens when I cave? I am full of food, negetive thoughts and left with guilt and shame. So counter productive but being honest and letting others knows about my struggles makes me accountable and I look back at these posts and my food journal and I have hope. I am able to dust myself off and pick up where I left off.
I have also come to realize that I need my routine to keep me on this weight loss path. While home and not working, I found myself going to the fridge several times a day and not making a meal but a sanwhich here a glass of milk there and those calories were adding up quick!
2 out of the 4 days I have been good. I ate breakfast each morning, it's about lunch time that I start getting really hungry. Nothing seems fulfilling. I do my high protein in the morning, I check my blood sugar and it is normal. I do not get this way at work. Any suggestions??
The van has been out of commission since Monday and I have been at home until today. I have noticed that I eat when my anxiety is high because I feel like I am high energy but this is so not the case. High energy and high anxiety, two completely different things. And what happens when I cave? I am full of food, negetive thoughts and left with guilt and shame. So counter productive but being honest and letting others knows about my struggles makes me accountable and I look back at these posts and my food journal and I have hope. I am able to dust myself off and pick up where I left off.
I have also come to realize that I need my routine to keep me on this weight loss path. While home and not working, I found myself going to the fridge several times a day and not making a meal but a sanwhich here a glass of milk there and those calories were adding up quick!
2 out of the 4 days I have been good. I ate breakfast each morning, it's about lunch time that I start getting really hungry. Nothing seems fulfilling. I do my high protein in the morning, I check my blood sugar and it is normal. I do not get this way at work. Any suggestions??
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Stress Eater
So, I have come to realize that I am a stress eater. I never really thought about it or even understood it until I started keeping a food journal and looking at patterns and my behavior. I had a very stressful night and I craved a high carb breakfast. I gave into that temptation this morning and I do feel guilty about it but I am hoping that by blogging, being honest, and being accountable that this will curve my behaviors and I can begin living a health lifestyle and have a healthy relationship with food.
I started this weight loss journey when I was 8 years old. That is when I can remember being sent away to my aunts for the summer and being on a calories restricted diet. Thinking back, I really don't know what happened that got my parents thinking I needed to diet at 8 but I do know I was overweight. I remember feeling deprived of food. Feeling hungry and not being able to eat the things I wanted. I know that those feelings eventually led to food hoarding at a tween and full blown compulsive eater by the time I was 15.
I never gave much thought into what I was putting in my mouth and just blamed my weight gains on lack of exercise and acceptance that I was still beautiful inside and out.
After my car accident, when I came home and mobility was limited, my socialization was impaired and my spirits were low, I began to recognize a pattern of binge eating and eating out of boredom. I would binge eat for 2 or 3 days and not eat anything for 2 or 3 days and I thought that would balance things out. Boy was I wrong!
I remember lying about my weight for the first time when I was in 6th grade and had a sports physical. My friends all boasted their 99 pound bodies and I was a whopping 230 pounds. I kept that lie going and the years went on and I got bigger and bigger. Around 2004, shortly after my accident I did have a dramatic weight loss, and I was down to that 230 pound figure and felt like a kid again, literally. The only troubling thing was, I lost the weight being sick and I was not healthy. My doctor began to encourage me to eat and eat lots and after 8 years I never stopped.
In July, I had ballooned up to 408 pounds. Wow! Did I just type that? I was so ashamed. I went to a medical rehab and learned I had diabetes. And that is why I am sitting here today starting a blog, from a girl in a wheelchair, with people who will enable her to death, I want to make changes in my life. I wan to be accountable. I need support, as much as I can get and I am going to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Please join me on this journey. As of July 16, 2012, I have lost 36 pounds, that is 4 pounds a month. It came off fast and I know due to my dieting history, I will plateau and want to give up. Please don't let me. I do not have a goal in mind, Just a healthy weight that maybe someday I can succesfully wear a prosthetic leg. Wish me luck! Here I go.
You can send bits of encouragement and track my diet at myfitnesspal.com username rmulverhill
I started this weight loss journey when I was 8 years old. That is when I can remember being sent away to my aunts for the summer and being on a calories restricted diet. Thinking back, I really don't know what happened that got my parents thinking I needed to diet at 8 but I do know I was overweight. I remember feeling deprived of food. Feeling hungry and not being able to eat the things I wanted. I know that those feelings eventually led to food hoarding at a tween and full blown compulsive eater by the time I was 15.
I never gave much thought into what I was putting in my mouth and just blamed my weight gains on lack of exercise and acceptance that I was still beautiful inside and out.
After my car accident, when I came home and mobility was limited, my socialization was impaired and my spirits were low, I began to recognize a pattern of binge eating and eating out of boredom. I would binge eat for 2 or 3 days and not eat anything for 2 or 3 days and I thought that would balance things out. Boy was I wrong!
I remember lying about my weight for the first time when I was in 6th grade and had a sports physical. My friends all boasted their 99 pound bodies and I was a whopping 230 pounds. I kept that lie going and the years went on and I got bigger and bigger. Around 2004, shortly after my accident I did have a dramatic weight loss, and I was down to that 230 pound figure and felt like a kid again, literally. The only troubling thing was, I lost the weight being sick and I was not healthy. My doctor began to encourage me to eat and eat lots and after 8 years I never stopped.
In July, I had ballooned up to 408 pounds. Wow! Did I just type that? I was so ashamed. I went to a medical rehab and learned I had diabetes. And that is why I am sitting here today starting a blog, from a girl in a wheelchair, with people who will enable her to death, I want to make changes in my life. I wan to be accountable. I need support, as much as I can get and I am going to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Please join me on this journey. As of July 16, 2012, I have lost 36 pounds, that is 4 pounds a month. It came off fast and I know due to my dieting history, I will plateau and want to give up. Please don't let me. I do not have a goal in mind, Just a healthy weight that maybe someday I can succesfully wear a prosthetic leg. Wish me luck! Here I go.
You can send bits of encouragement and track my diet at myfitnesspal.com username rmulverhill
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