Stress Eater

So, I have come to realize that I am a stress eater. I never really thought about it or even understood it until I started keeping a food journal and looking at patterns and my behavior. I had a very stressful night and I craved a high carb breakfast. I gave into that temptation this morning and I do feel guilty about it but I am hoping that by blogging, being honest, and being accountable that this will curve my behaviors and I can begin living a health lifestyle and have a healthy relationship with food.
I started this weight loss journey when I was 8 years old. That is when I can remember being sent away to my aunts for the summer and being on a calories restricted diet. Thinking back, I really don't know what happened that got my parents thinking I needed to diet at 8 but I do know I was overweight. I remember feeling deprived of food. Feeling hungry and not being able to eat the things I wanted. I know that those feelings eventually led to food hoarding at a tween and full blown compulsive eater by the time I was 15.
I never gave much thought into what I was putting in my mouth and just blamed my weight gains on lack of exercise and acceptance that I was still beautiful inside and out.
After my car accident, when I came home and mobility was limited, my socialization was impaired and my spirits were low, I began to recognize a pattern of binge eating and eating out of boredom. I would binge eat for 2 or 3 days and not eat anything for 2 or 3 days and I thought that would balance things out. Boy was I wrong!
I remember lying about my weight for the first time when I was in 6th grade and had a sports physical. My friends all boasted their 99 pound bodies and I was a whopping 230 pounds. I kept that lie going and the years went on and I got bigger and bigger. Around 2004, shortly after my accident I did have a dramatic weight loss, and I was down to that 230 pound figure and felt like a kid again, literally. The only troubling thing was, I lost the weight being sick and I was not healthy. My doctor began to encourage me to eat and eat lots and after 8 years I never stopped. 
In July, I had ballooned up to 408 pounds. Wow! Did I just type that? I was so ashamed. I went to a medical rehab and learned I had diabetes. And that is why I am sitting here today starting a blog, from a girl in a wheelchair, with people who will enable her to death, I want to make changes in my life. I wan to be accountable. I need support, as much as I can get and I am going to be as honest and candid as I can be.
Please join me on this journey. As of July 16, 2012, I have lost 36 pounds, that is 4 pounds a month. It came off fast and I know due to my dieting history, I will plateau and want to give up. Please don't let me. I do not have a goal in mind, Just a healthy weight that maybe someday I can succesfully wear a prosthetic leg. Wish me luck! Here I go.
You can send bits of encouragement and track my diet at myfitnesspal.com username rmulverhill